This blog was really difficult for me to write, and it might not be easy to read for some. So please don’t read on if you’ll be triggered by baby loss.
Every year, October 9-15th is Baby Loss Awareness Week, and is a cause that is very close to my heart. We’ve experienced baby loss within our family, and it’s a different kind of pain.
When you grieve someone you’ve lost who you’ve had in your life for a long time, you have so many memories and photographs to remember them by, you remember what they looked like, what they sounded like, and loads of little things remind you of them and make you think of them after they’re gone.
You don’t get that with a baby. Instead, you wonder what they would have looked like when they got older, what they would have sounded like and what memories you would have made together. But that’s all robbed from you and taken away in the most brutal way possible. I never knew grieving for someone you’ve never even met could be so painful, but it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life, and it’s shaped my decision of when to have a baby, and decisions I’ve made during my pregnancy. This is the main reason behind me not wanting to find out the gender of our baby, because I just can’t bare the thought of bonding with a baby and giving it a name before we know it’s here and healthy.
I know I’m going to be so paranoid when Baby E is here, but I’ve done my research and I’m going to do everything in my power to protect them. That’s all I can do.
There are some amazing charities out there that support families through losing a baby:
And there are more. Whether someone has lost a baby through miscarriage, still birth, neonatal death or SIDS, these charities can help, and also do research into preventing baby loss. I’ve talked about these charities before in a recent blog, but it’s so important that more awareness is brought about that they exist and the work that they do.
Baby Loss Awareness Week is a campaign to build awareness around baby loss, and to realise that it’s ok to talk about it. Baby loss is still a taboo subject like many other things that shouldn’t be.
Here are a few ways you can get involved with Baby Loss Awareness Week:
- Social media. Many people underestimate the power of a like or a share, but by engaging with posts by charities, you help increase their reach and get the message out. Like, follow, save, share and comment when you can, you never know who the post might reach and help in a time of need.
- Talking. It can be really difficult to find the right words to say to someone who has lost a baby, but that’s not an excuse to shy away from the topic. If you know someone who has lost a baby, ask them if they would like to talk about their baby. It’s not going to be easy, but if they want to talk then be there to listen and provide support.
- Donate. Giving money is the easy option, but it’s helps SO much. Charities can’t run without them, so every donation is greatly appreciated. If you can spare some money, use this week to donate to a baby loss charity, or purchase goods off their websites. I’ve put together a few links below where you can donate or browse online shops where the profits are given to the charity:
- Light a candle tonight for the Sands Wave of Light. This is to remember all the babies that are no longer with us, and to raise awareness of baby loss. Take a photo and share your light on social media to spread the message, make sure you use the hashtag #waveoflight and #waveoflight2020.
- Research. If you’re pregnant, have recently had a baby or would like a baby in the future, do your research on SIDS and safe sleeping. Even small changes you might never have thought of can help reduce the risk of SIDS. Here are some links for safe sleeping tips:
We need to remember and talk about the babies that were born sleeping, those we carried but never held, those we held but could not take home, and those who came home but could not stay.
Give your babies an extra cuddle tonight.
Love Mrs E